In a recent move and unpack I came across a notebook which held an echo of a memory and in the flipping I blew some dust off a diary entry for 31st August, 2010. It was the opening attempt to reinstate a daily exercise absorbed from a book on how to be a writer by Dorothea Brande. I had done the exercises with varying degrees of success and duration over the years since I bought it back in '92. The thing I found interesting about it now, looking back without anger, is how a recent diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis was so obvious, if, er, only I'd known, even then. Through this site I wish to promote early awareness of slow-gripping - the Python's Squeeze - neurological conditions.
Here's the entry:
It is time to start diarising again. This has a number of functions. 1/ I want to start exercising my fingers. Not that this will help my left hand. Either through the process of ageing, or the undescribed sensations in my arms first felt in '06, diagnosed as 'unknown' but not "sinister" and sorted by Bryony's homeopathy which has returned, my fingers seem to have lost some of their control. That was a long sentence. I want to make my handwriting neater - but that may be part of 1/ And I want to start committing thoughts to a more permanent medium. I do not know if it will help my novelling, but it should help my unwillingness to expose myself to, er, exposure. My writing lacks a confidence, lacks faith in its opinions. Oozes doubt. Without fixing that there is no novel. In addition, copy for various web sites would be helped. Expressing opinion assertively and being willing to risk adverse comment and critical observation will go along way to healing the Spolsky doubt syndrome. Maybe that can be reverse engineered into personality assertiveness too.
Feel free to have a rummage. Say hello if you have the inclination.
All the very best,